Football Wives is set to air this Sunday at 1030PM. VH1.com did their first intreview with one of its stars. You guys might know Pilar Sandars from her other reality show on Oxygen that she used to do called "Deion and Pilar: Prime Time Love.
Did you have any agenda going into this show?
The only agenda that I did have was to enjoy the show. It’s giving people a chance to see the reality of a football wife isn’t that we’re sitting at home eating bonbons, kicking our heels up and watching football all day. We actually have interests and we work and it’s not La La Land like people think. It was also the chance to work with six other very wonderful, powerful women who are doing their thing and making it happen in life. They’re making it happen in their home and they’re trucking along no matter what is going on with the husbands or their careers. I think women need to see women who are really making moves in life and not scared to take risks. So that’s what I was really excited about.
And do you think you accomplished that with the show?
I think the effort was definitely there. I think depending on how it’s put together, what we’re gonna be able to see without a shadow of a doubt, what these women do, what we football wives really do on the outside.
Is anticipating how it’s all going to be put together nerve-wracking at all?
It’s not for me because everything that I was able to film is true to life. It wasn’t a put-on show. It’s really what happens in my life, whether it comes to dealing with other women, dealing with what I do business-wise, dealing with my family – it’s what’s real. I’m fine with it.
How different was this shoot versus Prime Time Love?
There was a huge difference. The major difference was that we filmed Prime Time Love in our homes, everyday, from sun-up to sun-down. I was with my family all the time and that was really, really great. Now I’m filming something with six other women. And that’s not a bad thing. It’s another view of who I am which I know some of my audience really wanted to see.
How well did you know the other women before filming the show?
I’ve known Melani Ismail for years. Our husbands played together. The others I’ve met on the show. And the show covers that — we have a general introduction and we don’t hide that fact at all.
Did you feel any pressure to live up to Basketball Wives, being that this is kind of a spin off or kind of a companion show?
Definitely not. No way. They’re not even on the same path. Football and basketball are very different, from the injury aspect to the financial aspect to the point of how involved fathers are able to be. Basketball players travelsso much and their games are throughout the week. With football, you have a steady job five days out of the week – they get up, they go to work, they come home. They travel Wednesdays, they play Sundays, they’re back home. It’s a scheduled life. With basketball it’s very different. They’re on the road a lot in the middle of the week. It’s a longer season. As far as the injuries go, the injuries for football players are life-lasting injuries and they deal with them during playtime, during their seasons, they deal with them out of season. Deion’s been retired for some years now and we’re still dealing with injuries he’s had playing. It’s really serious. You can imagine how much of an impact they have sustained constantly hitting other 200, 300 lb. men at the speed of a moving vehicle. It’s really hard on their bodies and many times, we as the wives deal with nursing them back, and we’re constantly altering our lives to help them. Deion’s injuries aren’t that bad but it’s not like we can go out and run or he can go skiing. There’s a lot of stuff that he can’t do because of his injuries still.
It’s tempting to view you as the Shaunie O’Neal of this show. What do you think about that comparison? Are you the center of Football Wives?
I don’t feel like the center of it at all. Now, it’s true. [Deion and I] are known because it’s what we do: entertainment. We’ve had a show. He played and was one of the best sports figures in history. I don’t think that’s arguable. But that does not discount the importance of what these other women have to offer, simply because where their men have made it in football or have not. The storylines are all very important. I don’t feel like it’s centered around me whatsoever.Football Wives shows a variety of the women and their husbands and where they are whether it’s the NFL or the UFL. It’s a football wife and their trials and tribulations, what they go through. And I think it represents a football wife in its totality. I think it’s a good note of it.
What do you think of the show’s title defining you women through your men?
It’s not a secret that I’m married to a retired football player, I don’t feel like I’m defined by my husband. However, I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for what he did. So it’s kind of a Catch-22. It is definitely what it is whether you like it or love it, whether you agree with it or not. I am a football wife.
From what you’re saying, it sounds like you’re invested in the idea of sisterhood. You’re being extremely diplomatic and kind with your answers about all the other women on the show.
I am. People who need people are the luckiest people in the world. And I definitely need my sisters with me. I definitely need the support of women. I am a woman so I know what other women go through. I’ve been a position where I haven’t had things. I haven’t had finances, I didn’t have opportunity and I’m now in the position where I do. I understand the struggle of a woman. I understand wanting a family. I understand being married. I spending time with each child that I had and then dividing that with my husband. And then I understand moving on to another level where I need to invest some time in me. Where do I fit in? As Deion Sanders’ wife or my children’s mother, where’s my identity? I have to do things for myself just as other women, football wives or not, go through and struggle through daily. And then on the other side, now that I’m working on things that satisfy my itch and my craving, how am I going to balance my life with my family and my children and my church and all of these things? Every single woman goes through that. Every single woman struggles through the same issues. I’ve always wanted to know the stories of other women, in hope that they could help me. And so, maybe my story can help another woman. Now, in reality it does not always happen that way. In reality, you don’t always have women who are always on your team, who are supportive of you. You have women who might smile in your face and stab you in your back. That’s real. You have to know as a woman what works for you as a person. You have to know what helps you, because if not adding to your life or multiplying in your life it’s gonna be dividing or subtracting. And it’s important for every young girl, for every woman to know how to see those things.
Well, speaking of that, there’s a part of the premiere that involves a confrontation over Bible study. Chanita’s kind of taking you to task, and you remain very calm, especially for reality TV. I wondered if that was kind of a tactic you’ve developed to deal with drama.
Well, I’m just naturally a laid back person. I don’t do well with arguments. I don’t like strife. That’s not how I’m built. I’m not built to stand and hover and argue. However I am built to stand on what I believe in. I am a very strong woman with my views and my opinions on what I think is right, so I don’t have a problem stating how I feel to whomever I need to say it to. For me, ignorance does not supersede intelligence and when people argue, very rarely do they listen because they just want to make their point.
That said, was filming this show stressful?
At points, it definitely was, because I’m with personalities I’m not normally around. That kind of thing you mentioned, what you saw, I don’t really have to deal with that stuff on a daily basis with the women I’m around or come in contact with or at my home, or anything like that. So it did stress me.
Was filming ultimately rewarding?
To me, yes. I’ll probably see more of and be more comfortable with saying or feeling that reward when I’m able to see and speak with the people who support it and who would’ve watched it. It’ll be rewarding to hear how it may have helped their lives or even what they didn’t like about it. Those opinions to me, the opinions of fans and supporters, I hear ‘em. And it means a lot to me. That’s I think how you can gauge whether it was effective or not.
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