Q: Let's start with a list: Win "American Idol"? Check. Write autobiography? Check. Movie? Check. Reality show? Check. Broadway? Check. Top 10? Check. You don't need to go on tour. You can just retire now.
A: No, no, no. There's so much more to do. I look up to all those great artists like Aretha Franklin, Chaka Khan and Diana Ross. They can still hit the stage and do their thing. I want to be like that. I have a long way to go.
Q: If you could step into a time machine and go back to the day before your first "Idol" audition, how would you prepare yourself for the past six years?
A: I don't know if I can answer that. But I know I wouldn't change a thing. Even though there were rough times - there were blows I wasn't ready for - I wouldn't change anything. I can say that today.
Q: Are you amazed you're standing here today?
A: When you're a celebrity, people sometimes make you out to be a robot. They forget we're only human. I'm that artist who says I'm just like you. Whatever is going on in my life, I'm not ashamed about expressing it and talking about it. It makes it seem to people like, "This girl has been through so much." But I will always be that artist who puts it out there. I don't know what other way to be.
Q: Does that kind of honesty get you in trouble sometimes?
A: No, because I want to get it all out there. I run into a lot of people who come up to me and begin to share things with me. And I always think, "I can't believe they said that to me!" It's because I've been open, so people feel like they can be open with me. I'm a young girl who can sing. It doesn't make me different from anybody else.
Q: Who was the first person to call you after you got out of the hospital following your suicide attempt?
A: I won't watch my VH1 show, but I turned on the TV last night and it happened to be about the hospital. At first I didn't want to watch the show because there are lots of things I don't want to relive. But I decided to face it. So I watched it and I cried again. All those people I was trying to please, none of them were there for me when I got out of the hospital. I don't care anymore. My caring is what sent me to that dark place not too long ago. I was so worried about pleasing everyone around me, I forgot about myself. That side of me is long gone.
via sfagate.com
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