VH1access Update Interview: Courtney (Tool Academy 3)
What has Courtney been up to? The last we saw her was on Tool Academy 3 as one of two of the first female tools. I recently interviewed to see what she has been up to. Follow her on
So it has been a year since we saw you on Tool Academy as one of the first female tools? How did you feel being on the show?
It is amazing how time flies. I can't believe it has been a year already, because some days it feels as though we just finished taping. I was one of the first female tools on the show and I made show history as the first ever lesbian or gay tool to be in the academy. Not to mention that I beat the "professional wrestler" tool at wrestling the first night in the house!! I was okay with showing the world that homosexual relationships have the same issues as a heterosexual couple.
I first had mix feelings about being on the show because I had not come out to my whole family yet, and I knew this was going to "out" me. I loved doing the show though, because I did meet some truly amazing people that I probably would have never met otherwise. I also ended up learning a lot about myself that I hadn't completely let myself learn. I found inner strength, as well as the ability to show my emotions and vunerabilities. It was a grueling process. Most of you out there probably think it was a walk in the park and just anyone can do it, but let me tell you it is not what it seems. It is a mixture of everything thrown into one big pot and you either go through the process or you wimp out like Chaysn did the first night and bail. I would love to do another show. I would never change my experience on the show for anything.
How was your experience on the show?
My experience on the show was interesting and ever changing. I remember when we first arrived in Mexico and all met each other. Of course we all sized the other up and then started making alliances. The other tools didn't know how to take me at first... should we be threatened by her as an alpha like us, or should we worry that she will try to go after girls we are going after, or go after our girlfriends after finding out we were really on Tool Academy. They looked at me as if I was my own foreign species and just didn't know what to do with me. They ended up treating me like one of the boys, instead of the way they treated my girl Jennavecia, like a threat to them in temptaion.
I had commonalites with the guys, I liked to box, I chased straight women, still do haha. Once they decided I was one of the boys, the questions poured in like kids at story time. They wanted to know how lesbians work, oh the typical male fantasy. The house split slightly and it became the "west coast" tools out partied the "east coast" tools with a couple exceptions. The west coast tools were: myself, Jennavecia, Tommy, Shawn, but we had Angelo who was east coast and Daniel who was eastern that would stay up partying with us. The rest had to get their beauty sleep. We had fun playing beer pong, hanging out in the hot tub and just partying all night. I made friends with people I would have never met and we became each others support system through our couples therapy. My relationship was hard, because not only did I have an upset girlfriend, the other tools girlfriends couldn't believe me, as a woman could treat another woman like that. I was expected to be more emotional and understanding. I had serious moments of anger where things went flying across the room, or the punching bag we had outside had my fists laying into it.
Through all of the fighting, healing and laughing, I loved doing the show. It was an experience I will never in my life forget, and I hope one day to be in front of the camera again. This time though I won't be going through therapy!! I want to do a show that challenges me physically or that shows my complete personality. It was overall a fun experience, that people still stop me and ask me about, and fans still make me smile when they see me out and stop me. It was because of my fans and because of my haters that I have become the person I currently am, and I thank each and everyone!
What was your most favorite session with Trina and challenge?
Are you crazy asking me if I had a favorite session in therapy?! My favorite therapy with Trina was modesty, because we had to draw pictures of ourself, however it was that we viewed us. I was the first person Trina called up in therapy and I had to show my horrible drawing to everyone and she broke it down. That therapy of just myself lasted an extremely long time. The reason it is my favorite is because it broke down walls that would not have otherwise been broken. She would not let me run from dealing with my feelings about myself and my insecurities, like I use to do. I laid it all out in front of people I barely knew and for viewers that I have never met. I felt like a huge weight was finally lifted off of my shoulders and in that moment when I sat down next to Cheron I felt safe and that it was okay to be vunerable. It was believe it or not a huge break through in my life right there with good ol' Trina.
My favorite challenge on the other hand was not the modesty focus group, I hated that with a passion. It was believe it or not the challenge that played a part in my elimination from the show. It was the appreciation challenge. I loved it because we were able to make dinner for our partner that had meaning behind it, and I love to cook and I knew the perfect dish to make that had meaning. I made chicken marsala over a bead of wild rice, with asparagus and salad with her favorite wine. It was the first dinner I had ever made for her after we started dating, and I was a huge romantic (still am lol) and I knew that she would know as soon as she saw it why I made that. We all sat down like one big Italian family, explained our dishes and why we made them and then ate and enjoyed great conversation. We all talked as a big group and it wasn't just couples sectioned off, it was as family. After dinner all the tools put together a song and dance for the partners about appreciating them and how we first met. We all had a great time and laughed and forgot about all the troubles in our relationship. Granted I was eliminated that night because they said I was trying to hold Cheron too much, but I know I shouldn't have been eliminated that night, because it was only for a minute and I backed off. You have to understand when you are use to living with someone and seeing them on a daily basis, and then put under the circumstances we were, all I wanted to do was hug, kiss and love her, because I knew I was going to sleep alone. Overall though I would not change that night at all.
When you were eliminated, Cheron decided to leave without you. What happened after that?
I will never forget when I was eliminated, my heart sunk. I knew I didn't deserve to go then, but it was what it was. I knew also that Cheron was going to leave me, because the first day of the academy she said if I didn't make it through the program she was going to leave me, because I had to prove to her that I would change. I cried, it was horrible, because I wasn't ready for it to be over. I loved the woman and I knew it was over just like that, because the academy decided I hadn't changed enough and I made mistakes within my relationship. So for the first time in my life i was dumped, and of course it had to be on national television.
I didn't know what to expect going home, because we had a beautiful loft over looking the water together, but we were broken up. We both arrived home at seperate times and it was awkward at first because we hadn't been around people, or each other for a long period of time. I slept downstairs and she slept upstairs. We tried to make things work and tried to just go out and be the us we were before the show and it was too far gone. We had both learned so much about ourselfs that we both went in completely different directions. We became two people living in the same house, but not interacting with the other. It broke my heart and was one of the hardest things I had to do at the time, especially when her kids would come to visit and I had to play a new role for these two little kids I loved so much. We grew to basically hate the other and living together became exteremly unhealthy.
She moved out one weekend while I was gone with her now boyfriend (yes she went back to men). I was shattered when I came back to my empty house. I lost my best friend. I let myself get lost in drinking constantly and I went in a downward spiral for a period of time, between the break up, her leaving and the overwhelming amount of hate mail. I finally decided to end my life because I felt alone in the world, and I attempted suicide and clearly was unsuccessful, thank God! I woke up from the failed attempt and realized that God was telling me that I am here for greater reasons then I realized and from that day forward I have never looked back. I will never forget, because it was a pivotal point in my life, but it has made me who I am today and I will never go back to where I was. Even though the break up on national television killed me, I am thankful it happened, because who knows where the hell I would be today.
Were there any drama/fights on the show that we did not saw on TV?
I am sure there are plenty of fights that didn't get shown on TV. You go live in close quarters with 10 strangers and be put under extreme circumstances and see how long it takes you to freak out. I know that the cameras didn't catch my huge freak out because I snuck up stairs. It was after the fidelity therapy and I grabbed a bottle and from the hall, through the open doors and threw it as hard as I could and it slammed into the furthest wall away and then I started open had hitting the door and flipped out, I had to be calmed down.
We were all downstairs eating lunch and Jennavecia was asleep upstairs so Tommy, Daniel, Angelo and myself decided that we were going to quietly pick Jennavica's bed with her on it and move her into the hall. We had the bed lifted up and were about to walk into the hall when she woke up, she freaked out we dropped the bed and took off running. She specifically pointed me out because I was her friend and it was drama for a second. Jacob carried himself like his shit didn't stink and that caused drama. Kevin loved to create conspiracies about what was really going on and that would get all of us other tools worked up and it caused a lot of drama in the house. There was so much drama along with the fun that I have lost count.
So, the show has been over for a year now. What have you been doing since?
In the year since the taping of the show, I have gone from rock bottom, to better than I have ever been in life. I have created my own production company and have multiple projects in the works. I did a lot of marketing and still do. I love to meet people and marketing is a great way to do it. I moved back east for almost a year and met amazing people out there, and have since returned home to California. I work in medicine as well as on my production company.
I plan on writing a couple books and have already started on my first one. I had one serious relationship after the show which just recently ended, and now I am just happy living the single life. Since the show I have been traveling, doing meet and greets with fans, hosting parties and working in my main passion in life medicine, and recently production. I plan on doing more tv in front of the camera, but currently am staying behind the scenes. I have also returned to training for MMA and I have done boxing for charity. I try to fill my schedule with charity events. I love to do things that help. Other then that, I have been just enjoying my beach life with my family and close friends.
Thanks for this interview Courtney! Do you want to give a shoutout to anyone?
Thank you so much for interviewing me! I would love to give a shoutout to my family and best friends, they have seen me through my lowest lows, my highest highs and every where inbetween. I would be nothing without them. To all of my fans I thank you for your continued support over the year and hopefully years to come! You all are a huge part of my inspiration for change and I love every time I get to meet a fan. It is because of my family, friends, fans and because of my haters that I have become the person I currently am, and I thank each and everyone! To my haters thank you for telling me everything you don't like about me because you have given me the strength that I have today. I do wish all of you (haters included) much happiness and success in life.
Twitter Question
@TheTannerShow How did Tool Academy changed your life?
Tanner you have become like a baby brother to me! It changed my life because it forced me to come out to all of my family and truly love me for who I am. I am now me to its fullest and I no longer have to lead a double life. It forced me to face things I had shoved in the closet and it helped me find inner strength I never knew was there.
