Antonio said Autumn wasn’t like the other girls, and we was right. Here’s a sample from our interview with the most recently eliminated My Antonio contestant below: “I guess one of the things I was hoping for with going on this reality TV show was to be a positive character. I think just because reality TV shows have come off negatively to a lot of people, it doesn’t have to be that way.” Wow, is she a unicorn or what? Also discussed below are her NASA background, her feelings on kissing and why she doesn’t think Antonio was serious about finding love.
What did you think of your portrayal?
I think I came off pretty well. I think they tried to put me in a box as kind of prude on the show, as the young one. That’s not the worst way to come off, so I’m definitely happy that I came off more positive than negative.
What did you think of the whole “prude” issue? Was that an accurate representation of your philosophy on dating?
I guess I’d like to clarify my feelings about kissing Antonio on the show.
I have no problem with kissing in the right context. Kissing can be really pleasurable, actually. I’ve had boyfriends before, and I kissed them. I was uncomfortable with kissing Antonio, because the opportunity I had was on my first date with him, which was a shared date. I was being honest when I said that I wanted to talk to him more and get to know him, because I like to know who I’m kissing. I think that to have a lasting relationship, people need to connect on three levels: physically, intellectually and emotionally. Also, I have to say, I was very discouraged by the time I went on my date with Antonio. I didn’t feel that he was anxious to kiss me, because I felt like I had repeatedly put myself out there, throwing myself into challenges, and often being acknowledged as a top contender. But when it came down to it, Antonio picked other people over me. It seemed like going out with me wasn’t a priority for him.
Do you look back on the show with disappointment?
No, I don’t look on it with disappointment. I think that the show was more for entertainment, and I kind of approached it from that context. I don’t think I was necessarily given a fair shot from the beginning to actually win, in part because I put my effort into challenge after challenge. But also, I didn’t feel that Antonio was really looking for a permanent relationship because of his approach, and because of the people he was most interested in. He didn’t take an active interest in getting to know everyone as well as he could. He had no problem eliminating girls that he didn’t get to talk to much at all. I couldn’t understand why Antonio was interested in the people that he was interested in. If he was serious about having a long term relationship [he’d want] someone who would interact with his kids, someone who would be there in his day to day life. Antonio literally left the other girls to follow Sarah around when it was clear that she was not a good choice for a permanent relationship, at least as that point in time. And with Christi, it was obvious early on that she was the most interested in being sexy for him. I think the fact that she made so many extreme physical changes to herself was a sign that she was uncomfortable with herself, and I think you have to be comfortable with your identity before you can have a stable relationship with someone else. On the show you can see that Christi shifts back and forth between who she really is, and who she wants Antonio to think she is. Everything was superficial. If Antonio really got to know the girl, she would see what the bad habits were.
Couldn’t it be argued that if he’s eliminating girls that he doesn’t get to know, maybe what he’s looking for is someone who will fight for him? Maybe he’s looking for the drama?
You have a point, but I don’t think that kind of drama would make for a long lasting stable relationship, you know? One of the things I told Antonio is that “You don’t have to worry about me throwing up over the balcony,” as you do with some of the other girls. I might have been one of the youngest ones there, but I think I was more mature a lot of basic ways. I don’t think you would want someone who was an alcoholic around your children; I don’t think you would want someone who was unreliable around your children. And, you know, I can read people’s characters.
In your exit interview, you said that there’s so much potential for backstabbing in this environment, and that’s not who you are. Was that something that surprised you? It just seems to be that reality TV is characterized by backstabbing and that kind of thing.
I guess one of the things I was hoping for with going on this reality TV show was to be a positive character. I think just because reality TV shows have come off negatively to a lot of people, it doesn’t have to be that way. I think that there’s always potential. And because so many teenagers watch the show, I think that it’s a good idea to try and have some positive characters on the show, so that not everyone is a raving lunatic.
Did you get a sense of the reason Antonio eliminated you? Because it seemed kind of unclear the way it played out on the episode.
To be honest, I don’t think Antonio really knew. I think that’s why it was unclear. I think that there wasn’t really a strong reason to eliminate me, besides that he just didn’t want me there any longer. I don’t think that there was anything that I did, specifically, that stood out.
At that point, were you over it, though?
Well, like I said, I was getting continually more and more discouraged. He was choosing to keep some of the people that were more problematic over people I personally thought were more stable and would have been better for a permanent relationship. For instance, he kept Christi, who’s, you know, kind of all over the place. She looks like she might have a drinking problem. And she probably is an emotional wreck. I mean, one of the things he [Antonio] says is that “Smokers don’t even come into my house. They can’t smoke in my house.” Everyone knew that several of the girls were smokers. Like Brooke, for one. So I don’t know what his methods for deciding who would go were. Maybe he thought that it would be more entertaining with the people he had left? I don’t know.
Did you feel like you had a connection with him?
I don’t think I knew him well enough to say that. I think that there was a lot more I’d like to have gotten to know about him. But I think Antonio was kind of guarded himself. He kind of protected his personal life. He’d talk generally about it, but it was very different from a regular type of date you would go on with someone.
Do you dislike Christi?
No, I wouldn’t say that I dislike Christi. I didn’t really know Christi outside of the context of the show. And I don’t really have a reason to dislike her. She’s not in my life now.
Do you feel disenchanted with the experience? It seems like you went in idealistically but then you were hit with the reality of reality TV.
No. I think that my attitude had a lot to do with me deciding before I went on the show that I wanted to come off positively. So that’s part of the reason why I was so optimistic, and so sweet and maybe overly compensating in those areas. I knew that whatever they edited, if I had more negative times, there was always the option that those times would be there to represent me. I kept in mind that it’s a TV show, and you can’t take it too seriously. A lot of people don’t realize how much they don’t see, how much was cut out of the show. Some people don’t even understand why I’m on the show as long as I am, because they don’t see a lot of the time that I talk to Antonio that isn’t on screen. That they’ve cut out for whatever reason. A lot of the girls, especially in the earlier episodes, got a lot more airtime than I did. But I was participating and everything. Basically, I wasn’t quiet and silent and just arrived and happy to be in episode five. I was definitely a part of everything.
Any resentment for Antonio?
No. I don’t resent Antonio. I don’t really have any strong feelings against anyone from the show.
You’re a NASA researcher, right?
Well, I’m not a NASA researcher anymore. I’m actually living in California right now, doing more acting and entertainment stuff. But I think VH1 made that more my title, because they were more impressed that that was something that I had done before.
It is impressive, though. Generally, people on reality TV don’t have that on their resume.
So many people say to me, “Oh, you shouldn’t be on the show.” But that’s kind of why I was there. I think that there needs to be more positive people, especially because so many young people watch these shows. I just think it’s important to have a variety of characters.
-JT
vh1.com
